Elk Creek Rd, Madison Township, OH, США
I kept this going for two years until, during the exam session at the end of the second year, I and all myperfectwords simply cracked. I was almost never sleeping, the callouses on my fingers (they’re normal for guitar players) often turned into burning wounds due to excessively zealous practicing, I lost weight (well, this part I liked, actually), and I had such big dark circles around my eyes that I looked like a panda. My practical exams were coming and I feared them more than I feared death, and I realized I truly hated playing in public – it wasn’t my shyness or something that will go away as I gained more experience. I simply, honestly, utterly hated having people look at me while I’m playing. The academized guitar wasn’t fun anymore. It wasn’t my dream anymore. I decided to skip the exams, announced my favorite professor that I’m quitting, and never looked back.
And I don’t regret it one bit. Now I’m continuing my studies in economics and also found a part-time job in my field. I’m not passionate about it, but I like my workplace and have nice coworkers, so I’m more than happy. Most importantly, I can play the guitar the way I want it, when I want, with no pressure on me, no fear, no cold sweat on my forehead, no sleepless nights. I realize now that the Conservatory wasn’t my dream – or not one I should have pursued. It was rather the stubbornness of a slightly younger, but much sillier me,an obsession over an overly-romanticized concept. I was – am – passionate about playing the guitar, but not about studying it in an institution and making a profession out of it. I would have hated it, that’s for sure.
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